Deception
on the Internet
Whether or not we know it, or
whether or not we like it, deception is everywhere and it affects every one of
us who use the internet. We commonly use websites like Google and Facebook,
considering them great, free tools for researching and keeping in touch with
friends and family. In fact, a lot of people go out of their way on the
internet to protect their privacy on websites that obviously collect important,
personal information, but they still use the seemingly harmless websites like
Facebook and Google because they don't seem threatening. The unfortunate truth
is that these tools do, in fact, come at a cost. "If you're not paying for
something, you're not the customer; you're the product being sold" (Pariser,
2011). What is it that is being sold that is so important? Our personal
information right down to our credit information and what search items you entered
into Google last night; Enough information to cause an individual to lose their
job, their credibility, their reputation, and potentially everything you own.
Many internet users are very
cautious when it comes to putting their personal information online. This most
commonly refers to account information or social security numbers, but there is
much less care put toward protecting a name or interest. In an article by Adam
N. Joinson, Ulf-Dietrich Reips, Tom Buchanan, and Carina B. Paine Schofield,
they stated, " A recent poll by UPIZogby (2007) found that 85% of
respondents said that the privacy of their personal
information
was important to them as consumers. The Oxford Internet Institute survey
(Dutton
& Helsper, 2007) found that 70% of U.K. Internet users agreed or
strongly
agreed with the statement that “people who go on the Internet put their privacy
at
risk,” and 84% (up from 66% in 2005) agreed that “personal information is being
kept
somewhere without my knowledge.”" With
so many people being concerned with their privacy, one might think that those
people are sparing themselves from having their information taken, but as the
final line of the quote stated, " personal information is being
Hi Misty,
ReplyDeleteI really like your intro. I thought your opening sentence was very clear and I was immediately interested in reading more. I think that you could potentially strengthen your thesis statement more. I think that it’s the following, “Our personal information right down to our credit information and what search items you entered into Google last night; Enough information to cause an individual to lose their job, their credibility, their reputation, and potentially everything you own. Is your paper entirely about what you can lost or do you go into how you can protect yourself? If so, then you may want to include something about that in your thesis. In your second paragraph I don’t feel like there its very clear between what you say and your supporting citations. I think it would help if you make your topic sentence very clear and then use the facts to help support your overall point. For example you start off by saying that users are cautious about personal information online, but then you say there is less care about protecting a name or interest, then you go back to the original topic and provide a statistic about the number of people that feel protecting their personal information is important. Great start! I just think you need to tidy up some of your points.
You begin your essay with a strong introduction that includes a personal connection to the reader. I think it is a way of giving the reader a purpose to continue reading about your topic. You’ve also made a connection to Spokeo and how you personally have been affected. It gives the reader a specific example in relation to your thesis and specific data being published on the web. In the second paragraph, you included several statistics from surveys that support your statements and ideas.
ReplyDeleteThese are some minor corrections. In the second paragraph there is a double quotation mark where it says “personal information is being kept somewhere…”. The sentence ending with however in the last paragraph is somewhat confusing.